zoë siskos

I had a dream. No, not that kind of dream. I had an actual dream.

Lucky for me I have an arsenal of dream books to help interpret my deep subconscious. And have a little fun.

My Dream

In my dream my feet were in cages. Each foot had its own cage, a black wire cage with latches (no locks). Basically, they were like shoes. As I was walking around I noticed that I was not wearing any socks.

Book Definitions

I took a combination of what each book said and mashed it together. In most cases they said similar things.

Foot: Ground, balance. If you are injured on left you are not allowing yourself to recieve; if injured on right you are giving away too much. Feet signifies one’s journey along one’s path and the type of behaviour used to progress.

Barefoot: Grounded and in touch with Earth.

Cage: Pertains to an aspect that prevents the exercise of one’s freedoms or rights. This may even refer to oneself. Cages are self-created prisions; fearof being trapped by own limitations. Fear of self-expression. If cages are not locked you are free to leave throught the doorway to freedom, your own awareness.

Huh?

How do I make sense of any of this. Dreams, horoscopes, tarot – they are all the same in that it requires interpretation. It’s not that this book is predicting the future, but rather that these symbols represent things that I am thinking/feeling. By analyzing them I’m helping to understand myself a little better.

So, what does it all mean to me?

The part that struck me the most was my fear of self-expression. Me? But I have a blog! I put my thoughts and ideas out there for everyone to see. I have a Facebook account that shares intimate details of my life with strangers. And my Flickr account? Pictures into my life that anyone can pick up and learn so much about me. I’m not afraid of self-expression.

Or am I?

I have been thinking of changing it up on here for quite some time. I just feel like this blog is not a true representation of who I am. If you only know me through my online self, would you be surprised if you were to meet me offline?

And I will admit. I’ve been holding back. I have been going through a lot lately and have half written a bunch of posts. I don’t finish them because it gives me an excuse not to hit the publish button.

Why? I’m afraid of admitting that my life is not going the way I planned.

Sure, I’m human. But seriously, I have never felt this insecure or vulnerable . Not even when I was a teenager. So why now?

To make a long story short (too late) I think that my mind is telling me that I need to exhaust every outlet that I can to ensure that I am getting myself out there.

Okay, fine then. I will. We’ll see how that works out. I suppose spilling my guts about this dream is a start.