zoë siskos

Some people have the knack for comfort. Some people know when they don’t have the knack and just shut their faces and give you a hug. Then there are some people who have no filters and say the absolutely worst thing for the moment. This is that list of those people.

4. Who is that girl sitting over there?

Remember my friend Maaike, who was so amazing to come and visit me during this crappy time? Yeah, well, cousins of my uncle (Dad’s brother) saw her sitting in the crowd and thought it would be a great idea to try and set her up with their son. So, while in the receiving line, instead of consoling my uncle, they tried to set them up.

I feel very sorry for their son and whoever he ends up marrying.

3.  At least he’s out of his misery.

I wonder if this was ‘lost in translation’ but no one wants to hear it like this…especially my Mom, who spent the last 6 months making my Dad the most comfortable man in the world. She gave her soul to him, trying to help him die in peace and with dignity. And she did help him, more than God ever could.

2. Touching my brother’s forehead and patting his belly.

Doesn’t sound too bad eh? Let me give you some context. A childhood friend of mine and my brother’s was a passive aggressive bully. You know the type – picked on kids younger and smaller but always made it seem like a big joke so that he couldn’t get in trouble. This was that guy and he had it out for my big brother John. It didn’t help that our friend’s older brother ALWAYS stood up for John. Or that his mother always compared him to John. But hey, kids will be kids, right?

Wrong. This guy, nearly 25 years later, walks up to my brother, IN LINE at the funeral home, and touches John’s forehead, makes a comment about a (non-existent) receding hair line and then proceeds to pat him on the belly and gives an evil chuckle.

Really, man? I mean…our Dad just passed away. Really? You STILL need to be a bully?

The ironic part is that our old childhood friend is, himself, a fat, bald guy. He’s only a year older than my brother and he looks 10 years older. I guess that’s what happens to you when you are a mean person. Life just doesn’t agree with you.

I just need to add that I DO NOT have anything against fat, bald guys…but I do have an issue with passive aggressive hypocrite jackasses.

1. You won’t ever get to share your grandchildren with your father now.

Was this the most comforting thing this woman could think of? Remind me of one of the greatest joys in the world and how I’ll never be able to experience it? Yeah? THAT’s what you decided on saying?

Thanks for reminding me lady…I almost forgot how shitty this is.